Average age: 57
Number one complaint: My wife doesn’t enjoy sex.
Number two complaint: My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me.
Number three complaint: I don’t have any sex.
Number four complaint: I don’t have as much sex as I want to have.
You get the picture.
My tone is a little feisty today, because this is not an article about fucking your wife. This is an article about the double standard.
We live in the 21st-century, where sluts are loved and celebrated in the celebrity culture; artists, music performers, reality stars, are competing to see who can be more sexually explicit. Society is somewhat different than previous times, but not completely.
Many people grew up in an age of “good girls” and “bad girls”. Men went out with the good girls, brought them home to mom, and married them. Men craved the bad girls…the so-called, dirty and filthy sluts that they didn’t associate with, but desired, wanted to be with, and bragged in the locker room about how far they went with. Herein lived the double standard…that it was okay for a man to be with a slutty woman, but it wasn’t okay for a woman to be slutty.
This double standard left many sluts unmarried, socially shamed, isolated, and even killed or gang raped in bars, while told it was their fault. This type of slut shaming continues today in many parts of the world. Places exist where the good girl is celebrated, and the bad girl is treated like shit…except when you sneak off to be with her for a clandestine weekend, or a work lunch interlude.
Do you ever think that you might appear like Nicodemus, sneaking off to talk with Jesus in the dead of night, and then voting to have him crucified during the day? Do you ever think that there might be something wrong with this dynamic, and that you might be contributing to it? I doubt it. Most people are not willing to look at themselves this deeply. Most people can’t ask themselves these hard questions. So here, I am the pleasant voice in your head.
Is it possible that the double standard privilege that men enjoy, is also contributing to their boring bedrooms?
I’m here to remind you of male privilege, and of the many ways it is abused. One of these such ways, is shaming women for having sexual appetites. This is a form of oppression that has dissected the wholeness of femininity, into “good girls” and “bad girls”…the mother and the whore.
Sit back, take a deep breath, look around, and notice what many people have been seeing for a long time. Perhaps you did notice it, but only chuckled lightly about it, while in a bar with friends. Then you went home to your “good girl”…or snuck off to covet a “bad girl”.
Brother, the joke is on you. Some people might name it justice.
To sound cruel is not my intention, but having been the receiver of slut shaming, I appreciate the turning of the tides. Watching society turn on its head (our leaders now the biggest liars, banks collapsing, corruption everywhere), people don’t know who is good and who is bad…we barely know which way is up.
So I ask you to invite the question, “Is a woman really bad, because she enjoys sex? Because she like lots of sex, good sex, with her eyes open and the lights on?” The last time I checked, most guys liked this, too.
How dare you come to me, the sexy “bad” girl, to complain that your wife is boring, and that your she doesn’t want to have sex with you. My dear friend, you are the one who married a “good girl”. You married a good girl, and now your sex life is boring…and to whom do you want to complain? to a hot, sultry, bad girl. The one you looked down upon, is now your desired confidant. Really? Do you not recognize the irony? or should I say hypocrisy?
I would rather not leave you defeated. You likely deserve this humiliating scolding, but my purpose is not to leave you broken down. I invite you to read further. I invite you to come along, and to venture in.
Come into my world. Venture deeper in to a journey of learning and discovery, of new perspectives and ancient wisdom …
I promise that you will find pleasant illumination…things to tickle and to excite you.
And most of all, genuine, intelligence and knowledge, tantric tools of guidance, to transform your boring bedroom partner, into the sex kitten you love, desire, and deserve.